What Made the Intelligent Designer Think "Cow"?

Inkling Magazine’s David Ng has dared go where no one has gone before: deep inside the mind of the Intelligent Designer as this hypothetical entity conceived of the cow. The running monologue is priceless, full of hyperactive hyphenations that suggest a speed freak at the peak of a cleaning binge: What if, and I’m just […]

Cowjumpjp_2 Inkling Magazine's David Ng has dared go where no one has gone before: deep inside the mind of the Intelligent Designer as this hypothetical entity conceived of the cow. The running monologue is priceless, full of hyperactive hyphenations that suggest a speed freak at the peak of a cleaning binge:

What if, and I’m just saying things as they come to me, thisanimal-can-be-ground-and-shaped-into-a-meat-patty-
which-can-be-mass-produced-and-fried-on-heating-elements, and-then-sold-by-a-corporate-entity-bent-on-feeding
-the-obesity-line-to-young-children-by-using-as-their-public-representation-and-symbol, a-clown,
whom-we-shall-call-Jesus (no-wait,-let’s-save-that-one-for-later),
whom-we-shall-call-Ronald-McDonald, and-these-meat-patties,
which-will-be-inexplicably-and-mysteriously-called-hamburgers-after-a-completely-different-animal-I-haven’t-created-yet-will-also-be-considered-sacrilegious-by-fully-one-sixth-of-the-
world’s-population-and-oh-oh-why-is-it-that-the-numbers-0157-
cry-out-to-me-because-OH-MY-GOODNESS-I-can’t-believe-it-
but-this-stuff-is-just-so-brilliant!

I'm hoping we can get a carnival going where bloggers post the inner thoughts of the Intelligent Designer working out the details of many important creatures and other magically-created aspects of life on Earth . . . like plate tectonics and the ozone layer! And what the hell was the Designer thinking about while inventing pirates? Did the Intelligent Designer come up with them before or after inventing the RIAA?

The Cow [via Inkling Magazine]