Erratic Thoughts for Tuesday, 2/6/07

I have received such fantastic reader responses to the initial Erratic Thoughts theme post yesterday that I will simply post them here, and forego any further wishmongering on my own part. For those of you just tuning in, the theme this week is "the way things should be", and includes items you wished people made, solutions to common problems, clothing that nobody manufactures but should, etc. Take it away, gentlemen!

Jonathan Harford keeps it brief:

Two words: EDIBLE FURBY

(It screams when you bite into it!)

Rick sent in a list:

• A non-oncogenic cigar.
• A cheap radio-controlled electric-shock collar for small dogs.
• A seat cushion that zaps you when you get 'hit' in a computer game.
• A birth-control pill for men. [editor's note: this is supposedly on the way]
• A virus that causes black people to become white and vice-versa.
• A joint-house resolution to impeach the President.
• Something that would allow me to eat oranges and strawberries without wincing.
• A major movie treatment of The Lyonesse Trilogy, by Jack Vance.
• A twenty-year moratorium on movie re-makes.
• A $10.00 per gallon tax on gasoline.
• A laser that would make the word "BULLSHIT" appear on the wall behind a public speaker a mile away. [we have this already, it's called the "comment system" and it hurts my feelings, boohoohoo]

Keith:

I want to see a movie. The movie will be a fake reality TV
show (done like "Series 7") set in Iraq. In the show 5 couples,
representing a broad section of the US, will compete in a race to seewho can get from Kirkuk to Basra first. The show will be a blackcomedy, I envision a born-again white couple, am upper middle-classblack couple, a recent imigrant latino couple, a jewish couple and alesbian couple. Yes, all will be somewhat stereotypical. But each willhave signature gags, the black couple will be continually shot at by US
troops, the white couple will be constantly praying and demanding helpfrom Iraqi's, one of the lesbian couple join the insurgents (last seenrunning with an AK and a burkha), no one will seem to notive the latinocouple, and the jewish couple, oi gevalt!

Marcel has three good home-decorating ideas, sure to make Martha Stewart explode into flames:

I want small (about 1cm), 4-sided terracotta pyramids,
baked in various colors. If you have a lot of them, and things work asI hope they will, you can turn your frontlawn into an abstract mosaicby simply taking a broom and brushing them into place.

There's only two positions they can fall in, because the shape itself has selforganising properties.

Also, I want a plant pot for cacti, which has the shape of a head sawnopen at the skull, so the cactus looks like its spikey brain, and withits mouth wide open and tongue rolling out in a curl, so that wheneveryou water your cactus, the excess water will roll out of the mouth intothe curl of the tongue to signal it has had enough.

Furthermore, I want a lamp shaped as a cube, which has small individualshutters on every side, so you can decide how and where the light willshine through.