It's almost time to get on the plane or pile into the car and go visit whatever passes for "family" in your world during the winter holiday season. This experience may cause nausea, anhedonia, infantilism, or free-floating anger. If you are in the minority of people for whom family visits are genuinely fun, this weekend roundup isn't for you. Go enjoy your togetherness or whatever the hell you call it. For the rest of us, it's time to stomp our cares into a bleeding, quivering pulp by watching flicks featuring psycho babes. Here are five movies about rampaging women to set you off.
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!(1965)
- Schlockmaster Russ Meier brings you the absolutely classicgirls-gone-mad film. Three strippers drive a muscle car out into thedesert in search of money and thrills. Along the way they kill a guy,
steal his girlfriend, and torture an old guy in a wheelchair. Plus,
there's teen boy seduction, double-crossing, and lesbo-accented action.
Bottom line: you can't go wrong with this movie. It is perfect in everypossible way.
Teknolust (2002) - Tilda Swinton, famous for her role as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia, plays four characters in this crazy science fiction tour de force about a mad scientist (Swinton) who creates three dancing, supergenius cyborgs (Swinton, Swinton and Swinton) who spend all day watching old movies and drinking sperm tea. Problems brew when the sperm-retreiver cyborg causes donors to develop strange lumps on their heads after she extracts dinner from them in an elaborate ritual involving plastic bags and a tiny digital camera. Josh Kornbluth is hilarious as a hapless victim, but the whole movie may be worth it just to hear Swinton call a donut "succulent protein."
Kill Bill: Vol. I and Vol. II (2003-4) - Though the first movie in Quentin Tarantino's epic saga of an ultra-ninja bent on revenge is a bit slow, the second movie makes up for it in spades. Uma Thurman is fierce, campy and deadly as The Bride, a trained killer who turns on her mentor Bill after a great betrayal. First she works her way through his gang, which requires her to slay a posse of murderous Japanese schoolgirls, dig her way out of a grave, fight with a samurai sword, and defeat poisonous snakes. This five-hour swashbuckler is to psycho babe movies what Dante's Inferno is to epic poems.
I Spit on Your Grave(1978) - One thing that chicks hateis being raped. Indeed, they hate it so much that it makes them want tokill and maim the people responsible. In this classic rape-revenge flick, a woman raped in the woods returns the favor in slow, cruel ways. Also known as Day of the Woman, it's sort of a proto-riot grrl feminist statement which focuses more on stabbing and castration than equal pay for equal work. And that's what makes it a must-see for any devotee of the psycho babe genre.
Set It Off(1996) - Queen Latifah shines out as the toughest in a band of badass babes, including a young Jada Pinkett Smith, on a quest for cash in this bank robbery action-packer. There's nothing like watching these strong-and-sexy ladies whip out their guns and force the Man (or a scared bank teller) to hand over money they need to take care of their kids and families. Of course, you can't rob banks forever. Just as the boys from Goodfellas couldn't keep it together, neither can the gals in this movie. You'll be on the edge of your seat – and sorta teary – during the shootout climax.
