Is it OK to peek at my seatmate's laptop screen during an airplane flight?
Why, sure! It's totally OK! It's also OK to open your neighbor's mail when he's on vacation and to rifle through your coworker's purse when she's at lunch, right?
Of course it's not OK. Shoulder-surfing on a flight may be irresistible, but resist nonetheless. This is the stuff of which citizenship is made. As Jane Jacobs wrote in The Death and Life of Great American Cities, the definition of privacy is a situation in which we're able to spy on our peers but refrain from doing so. And unlike a loud phone-blabber whose "private" conversation you can't ignore even if you try, your seatmate is not shoving her affairs in your face. It's not her fault coach is so cramped. Plus, imagine what it will be like when she catches you snooping four hours before landing – awkward.
My 8-year-old son is extremely short. Should I give him human growth hormone (HGH) to help him reach a normal height?
As a former very short boy himself, Mr. Know-It-All can testify that shrimps indeed catch hell on the playground. And experts worry that short stature can even shortchange a child's education. "Kids get treated younger than they are, so there are lower expectations of them," says Charmian Quigley, senior clinical research physician for Eli Lilly, which makes Humatrope, a well-known HGH drug. As if high school wedgies weren't bad enough, a 2003 study proves that discrimination continues into adulthood: Taller people are paid $789 more per inch annually. How's the air up there?
What's more, HGH therapy is reasonably safe and effective (adding an average of 1.5 inches), and side effects are rare and usually mild. Legally, your son is approved to use it if he's not expected to reach 5'3" (for a daughter, it's 4'11").
But first, ask yourself: Precisely whose problem are you treating? You're probably more upset about your child's stature than he is. Psychological assessments of short children have found that they're no less happy than their taller peers. "You can gain a few inches, but there's no evidence that growth hormone therapy improves quality of life," says Joyce Lee, an pediatric endocrinologist at the University of Michigan. Being a runt didn't stop circa-5-footers like Prince, Fiorello La Guardia, or Napoléon.
Society would be better off if parents taught kids to value what's inside, rather than bioengineering "normalcy." But you need not sacrifice your son on the altar of hoped-for social change. If he's genuinely unhappy – and it's not just your hang-up – and if your doctor approves, then the choice is clear: Give him the drug.
My partner and I are talking about getting married and having kids. Do I have to tell him about my cosmetic surgeries?
Yes. Deceit of any kind does not bode well for an impending marriage. And of course this is compounded any time you add kids to the equation. Plus, consider it genetic honesty: Once you both know that the kid might get your big floppy ears, you can start saving for the next generation of alterations. "If you're in a serious relationship and you've had your enormous nose transformed into a tiny ski jump, you owe it to the person you're dating to tell them relatively early on," says Alex Kuczynski, author of Beauty Junkies, an inside look at nipping and tucking. And anyway, aren't you going to get tired of hiding those high school yearbooks? If your partner bails just because you've had work done, you've learned something about the superficial bastard.
The only possible exception is if your changes were very minor. Rule of thumb: If your parents can't tell, consider it part of your mystique and keep mum. (After all, do you alert the press every time you get a Brazilian wax?) Otherwise, it's time to fess up.
Need some help navigating life in the 21st century? Email mrknowitall@wiredmag.com.
- Clive Thompson
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