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These days, where can single goths go to look for love? Or vegetarians? Or truckers, coffee drinkers or millionaires, for that matter?
Everyone knows about popular online dating sites like Match.com and Lavalife -- behemoths whose active memberships number in the millions of singles. But for people like Toto -- whose definition of the perfect mate starts with vegetarianism -- such all-encompassing services don't make the grade. Instead, Toto and thousands like him are turning to special-interest online dating communities such as SoloParentMatch.com and GothicMatch.com.
"Using a ... targeted vehicle for relationships is more of an interest for me, (because) then I know that the kind of people drawn to the website are more in line with my beliefs, values and personality characteristics," said Toto. He doesn't use his real name but he's an environmentalist, vegetarian, animal-rights activist and member of GreenPersonals.com. "I was interested in attracting like-minded individuals and building a community, an underlying support system."
To meet that need, hundreds, if not thousands, of targeted services now serve just about any special interest. Most are a Google search away, though the sheer volume of such communities might overwhelm someone whose interest of choice keyword turns up too much noise and not enough signal.
For them, independent umbrella sites exist whose métier is directing the lovelorn to services. One, A Greater Date, lists more than 800 focused dating sites -- and that number is growing rapidly. More people are turning to targeted services because, at a minimum, they know they'll have something in common with anyone they meet there.
"It's still just single people wanting to meet other single people," said Michael Carter, owner of A Greater Date, who sells advertising on his site and gets income from user click-throughs to partner sites. "But (they're) congregating in a way so that (they can) get over that first hump, so to speak."
Other services own and operate multiple special-interest sites, each with its own subject matter, look and clientele. On SuccessfulMatch.com, for example, the choices include dating communities for Greeks, bikers and lovelorn military folk. And the site hosts MillionaireMatch.com, which purports to hook up eligible singles with "CEOs, professional athletes and NFL cheerleaders, doctors, lawyers, investors, entrepreneurs, professional models, engineers (and) movie directors."
However, would-be gold diggers may find that the service's definition of a millionaire -- "anyone who earns $100,000 and above annually" -- leaves a little something to be desired.
Calls to SuccessfulMatch.com were not returned.
Meanwhile, as might be expected, large numbers of special-interest dating sites devoted to religious and ethnic groups abound. Hardly any such groups go unserved, but a couple of groups seem to have the most choices: Jews enjoy sites from Jdate to Frumster ("the online dating site exclusively for Orthodox Jewish singles worldwide") and Christians find dating possibilities on such sites as the Single Christian Network and Providence Christian Dating and Friendship Club.
"'The religious sites run the gamut from general religious to highly orthodox," said Carter. "Some of the Jewish sites are hard-core."
Other common categories include university affiliations; gay, lesbian and bisexual; age-oriented; and "big beautiful women" and "big handsome men."
The giant sites like Match.com do target specific groups and with such sizable memberships, they boast substantial numbers of people looking for love in even the most esoteric groups.
"I'm not sure we're targeting goths," explained Match.com vice president of romance, Trish McDermott. "But if you did a keyword search ... I'm sure you'd find (them)."
Indeed, a quick search on Match.com for female goths between 18 and 35 and within 50 miles of San Francisco turned up an impressive 12 possibilities.
But to some in such specific groups, large popular services simply don't do the job.
"I am only interested in finding vegans, but members on (some big) sites are generally not questioned regarding their dietary status," said one GothicMatch.com user known as Esoteric Vegan. "If a vegan member just happened to mention within their profile that they are vegan, then I would be highly unlikely to notice, the main reason being that I would have to spend hours and hours looking through the highly uninspiring rabble of homogeneous zombies that comprise the bulk membership of these sites."
But McDermott disagrees -- and said that, at least on Match.com, members can find potential matches in almost any group.
"I think Match.com takes a different approach than the very niche dating sites do," she said. "We're the melting pot of singles. We have every size and flavor and shape and interest."
Regardless, the number of focused dating sites sprouting up proves that, in spite of multimillion-dollar advertising campaigns by the biggies, large numbers of singles are spending their time browsing small sites where they believe they can better find their dream lovers.
The sheer number of special-interest sites that Carter's focused directory, A Greater Date, lists has made him a full-time living less than a year after he launched. He's quit his corporate job and spends his days combing the Web, looking for new special-interest communities to add to his service.
"Anytime I find a truly singular site," he said, "I kind of get excited, because that's what makes A Greater Date cool."
