ELECTION 2000
Of all the presidential candidates, only one has taken a firm stand on drugs. Uncle Duke is all for them. And he inhales.
The legendary Doonesbury character threw his hat into the ring in early February, declaring to an appreciative crowd at the US Comedy Arts Festival that the bar for presidential consideration is now officially low enough for him to step over it. With that, the onetime drug smuggler, ambassador to China, and governor of American Samoa declared he would seek the Reform Party nomination. Now, as the critical March primaries approach, Duke vows to do "whatever it takes" to come out ahead of the pack.
Besides drugs, Duke's campaign is relying heavily on the Web. DotComix, a San Francisco 3-D Web-animation publisher, is bringing Duke to life online, while Excite is hosting the candidate's official campaign site (www.duke2000.com), which is expected to attract as many as 1 million visitors a day during stump season.
DotComix's animated characters, which besides Duke include Dr. Science and MTV's Virtual Bill, aren't videostreams but rather 3-D image files that are cached on a user's hard drive and fed commands over the Net. The results are smooth and surprisingly realistic animated images without the jerky quality of most streaming video. Duke can be seen holding forth online with animated addresses, press conferences, and interviews (his site is updated daily), and he's scheduled to appear on Larry King Live, The Daily Show, and any other program willing to provide him with a microphone and a stiff drink.
So, what's his platform? "Duke's overall political philosophy could be characterized as compassionate fascism," says campaign manager Garry Trudeau. "At his core he holds libertarian values - with a twist. I'm sure he'll endorse regulated marijuana distribution and mandatory gun ownership. He's the kind of candidate who will require prostitution rings to file quarterly, nationalize the gaming industry, and implement a massive program to underwrite the nation's aging sports stadiums."
Duke's chief adviser will be his confidante and erstwhile would-be paramour, Honey Huan. It was Huan who inspired Duke to run after she looked over this year's crop of rumored and actual presidential candidates and declared, "What was once a charming American myth is now officially true. Anyone can be president!"
So why not Duke? He's tanned, wasted, and ready to rumble.
Says Trudeau, "For a guy who doesn't exist, expect Duke to get into a lot of faces."
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