Fetish

__ Fetish __

__ Speed of Light __
It may look like a mild-mannered Volvo, but it's really an information system on wheels, with two fiber-optic cables and 17 computers running everything from the brake pedal to the sunroof. The S80 is the first car with a multiplexed network akin to the Ethernet cables carrying bits around an office. This efficient data capacity means advanced safety features - like a whiplash-protection system that shifts seats backward in a rear-end collision - and the ability for Volvo to someday offer tuneups remotely through an onboard cell phone. S80: $40,000. Volvo: www.volvocars.com/.

__ E as in Everywhere __
The size of a typical PDA, TelMail is a digital pocket organizer that also lets you send and receive email from almost anywhere. Just dial an 800 number, press the unit's underside against a phone handset, and listen to the soft squeals and chirps as new messages pour in and out. TelMail uses an audible modem and requires a $9.95-per-month service called PocketMail, but the transmission - of up to 4,000 characters - happens quickly. The signal is also robust enough to overcome the din around a bus station's pay phone or a crackly connection from Istanbul. TelMail: $150. Sharp: (800) 237 4277, www.sharp-usa.com/.

__ Circular Logic __
When it comes to hosting wackos, the oft-maligned Web can't hold a candle to good ol' AM radio - and the AM Advantage antenna lets you hear them all: UFO witnesses, paranoids, and high-desert dwellers. If you don't want to hook up any wires, just put the device near the radio, then use the pretuning dial to boost the signal. AM Advantage: $49.95. TERK: (800) 942 8375, www.terk.com/.

__ Champ Amp __
Until recently, audiophiles had few choices when shopping for quality home-theater gear. But now Conrad-Johnson, a paragon of the nosebleed stereo world, offers a five-channel power amplifier that's more than ready for film soundtracks and the digital surround sound encoded on DVD movies. The company compiled top electronic parts for each 120-watt channel - even selecting capacitors and resistors for their musical quality. Appropriately, the color is listed as "champagne." MF5600: $3,995. Conrad-Johnson: +1 (703) 698 8581.

__ Seeing Yellow __
The key to tennis is never taking your eyes off the ball. That's why optics engineers at Bollé developed a technology that tones down light waves outside the narrow spectrum coming from a tennis ball. The result: a sunglass lens called Competivision that dulls the visual distractions around the court but makes bright greenish yellow objects stick out like a floral shirt at an Amish funeral - all the while providing UV protection. Competivision Parole: $119. Bollé: +1 (303) 327 2200, www.bolle.com/.

__ Speed Dialer __
Voicemail should be as easy to deal with as email; instead, you have to slog through messages in sequence and scramble to write numbers down correctly. Microsoft's 900-MHz cordless phone lets you keep an almost unlimited store of voicemail on your hard drive and uses Caller ID to show the names and numbers associated with each. The base station connects to a PC, making use of your GUI to set up call-screening functions and its spare processing power to do voice recognition. Your computer can announce the names of callers or dial people on your contact list automatically at your command. Of course, if your PC isn't running, this supercharged dialer turns into a plain ol' cordless number. Cordless Phone System: $199.95. Microsoft: www.microsoft.com/phone/.

__ Kiddie Cars __
The latest Hot Wheels are more than die-cast metal with decals. Cyber Racers incorporate a readable LCD and an onboard computer, so while you still have to use elbow grease to get rolling, the circuit's engines are always in high gear. Build a track across the kitchen floor and the dragster's little brain will give you a start countdown, calculate your reaction time out of the gate, and report top speed. A pit-stop alert tests your choice of the right tool when the car needs servicing. One of its features even trumps the full-size Volvo S80: a Reset button for when all else fails. Hot Wheels Cyber Racers: $13.95 each. Mattel: (800) 524 8697.

__ Screen Envy __
Not only does Silicon Graphics's flat-panel display turn heads, it also comes relatively cheap for a status symbol. Sure, the 1600SW costs more than your average CRT monitor, but it's the sharpest LCD available - with a resolution of 1,600 by 1,024. It's also wide enough to show two letter-size pages side by side. The included graphics card from high-end chipsmith Number Nine carries 32 Mbytes of memory and uses a 128-bit bus around the board. While the wide-screen is sure to glorify the CAD mock-ups on expensive SGI workstations, Mac and PC users can buy it and gloat, too. 1600SW: $2,795. Silicon Graphics: www.sgi.com/.

__ Eye in the Sky __
Want to check the snowfall around the old ski shack? Using a telephone line and power outlet, FoneCam remotely sends digital photos to your computer at home. With a built-in 14.4-baud modem and 4 Mbytes of memory, the camera can fire off several photos a minute, and it's a lot less troublesome to rig up than a traditional Webcam-PC combination. All you do is install Moonlight's software on your home computer or server and - presto! - instant surveillance. FoneCam: $399. Moonlight: +1 (619) 625 0300, www.fonecam.com/.