Deflating this month's overblown memes.
| On the Rise/ In Decline| Ranking| Life Expectancy (Months)
| up| 1| 18| Virtual Private Networks The wonderful thing about virtual private networks is that its myriad definitions give every company a fair chance to claim that its existing product is actually a VPN. But no matter what definition you choose, the networking buzz- phrase doesn't make sense. The idea is to create a private network via tunneling and/or encryption over the public Internet. Sure, it's a lot cheaper than using your own frame relay connections, but it works about as well as sticking cotton in your ears in Times Square and pretending nobody else is around.
| up| 2| 6| Hacker Consultants Corporate America is increasingly turning to ex-hackers for computer security advice. But according to Ken Lindup, a senior consultant at SRI, companies should stay away from these former rebels. Unscrupulous programmers, Lindup warns, often pretend to know more than they do. Ahem. As an ex-hacker and ex-consultant, let me point out the obvious: when it comes to the art of exaggeration, hackers are third-rate amateurs compared with the professionals. At least geeks think six-figure fees merit some display of knowledge.
| down| 3| 1| MiniDisc If you fail once, remarket and … fail again. That seems to be Sony's strategy with its beloved MiniDisc, anyway. Having accepted that the audio format won't replace the CD, Sony is now marketing MiniDisc as a cheap, recordable alternative to the cassette tape. This is not just a sign of diminished expectations – it's serious ignorance. The real cassette tape and CD killer is already out there. Just ask the thousands of college-age music pirates who daily download MP3-compressed tunes from the Net for free.
| up| 4| 12| Windows NT 5.0 Some people poke fun at the Lubavitch Jews for carrying a pager so they can be notified when the Messiah arrives. But witness an even more ridiculous display of technology-sated optimism: thousands of NT administrators ceaselessly installing version 5.0 betas in the hope that, this time, Microsoft finally got it right. With each restart, they pray that critical features such as PPTP won't crash and that projects like Steelhead will materialize. Like the Lubavitchers, their belief is tied to blind faith. NT zealots be warned: Bill is no messiah.
| up| 5| 6| Interior Design When couturiers brought back the '80s with padded shoulders and stiletto heels last season, they should have realized they were signaling their own relative decline. For with the '80s comes a shift in purchasing focus, from runway fashion to overpriced interior design. For evidence, just flip through an issue of Wallpaper, the style bible of the month. True, it's filled with the same aspirational content as the glamour mags, but the photographer is now lingering on the impractical couch instead of the model draped over it.
