Assmosis: The process through which some people achieve career success by sucking up to the boss.
Balloon Help: When someone insists on explaining every obvious detail and function of an electronic device. Refers to the rarely used Balloon Help feature on Macs. "Um ... I don't really need balloon help - just give me the domain address."
Coasters: Unsolicited floppy disks, such as the ubiquitous AOL software, that arrive in one's mailbox on a regular basis.
Port-per-Pillow: A goal set by universities seeking to install network connections in the bedrooms of every student on campus.
Spamdexing: The practice of entering the same keyword multiple times in a Web page to force it to the top of search results in a search engine.
Tip o' the Jughead hat to Brett Stephens, Rami Ahonen, Laura Mitchell, Stanton McCandlish, Anne-Marie Concepcion, and Martin Hardee.
