Look what's talking
The market-research folks at Polaroid must have been reading my mind as I wondered what could possibly be the dumbest and most useless tech gadget ever made. Their answer: a talking camera. And thank goodness, because taking pictures of family and friends has always been such a pain: You had to boss them around, get them to smile, and then take the shot. But the Polaroid OneStep Talking Camera changes all that. With a mere press of a button, the camera plays your own prerecorded voice - or one of the three, built-in "witty remarks" - to the delight of your subjects. Appropriately, unfunny comedian Sinbad signed on as the OneStep's pitchman.
OneStep Talking Camera: US$49.99. Polaroid: (800) 343 5000, +1 (617) 386 2000.
Spaghetti maker
My father had a telephone, an answering machine, a fax, and a modem in his personal office, but only one line. Investing in a ComShare telephone line-sharing box brought him spaghetti-line hell. The ComShare boxes do work - just not very well. For the line rerouting to work effectively, you need to record a message on your answering machine that instructs fax callers to punch in a keypad number to send a document. Things become even messier with call waiting. Voicemail hell is a charm compared with ComShare. It's perfect if you want to cut back on the number of calls you receive.
ComShare 350, 550, 750 series: US$89.95 to $179.95. Command Communications Inc.: (800) 288 3491, +1 (303) 751 7000.
Stomach pump
Is it possible to get an abdominal workout by lunging Abfiex, a gun-like Nerf machine, into your gut? The inventor of this stomach-strengthening device claims so. As proof of its effectiveness, ads tout the fact that Abfiex was designed by a computer. In just three minutes a day, spare yourself a humiliating trip to the gym and still fiatten that fiabby waistline. All "while you sit in a chair or even watch TV."
Abflex: three payments of US$19.95. Kent & Spiegel Direct Inc.: (800) 903 9494.
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