In my preparation for the modern urban adventure, I take one last look at my list of provisions: water bottle, Power Bar, towel, mace, Dr. Gauss, condoms ... wait - Dr. Gauss?
Dr. Gauss is not a B-movie villain or a dive bar. It's "The EMF Detective," an indispensable tool for potential victims of electromagnetic fields. Dr. Gauss has the heart of a divining rod, the brain of a Geiger counter, and the body of a garage door opener - it sniffs out EMFs and hollers like hell when it hits 'em.
Remember those enticing electromagnetic wave diagrams from your high school physics textbook? Where ripples of positive and negative energy radiated from either end of a simple, copper-wrapped motor? Well, turns out that people who have prolonged exposure to high levels of EMFs - like the kind that gush from overhead high-voltage power lines - show high incidences of cancer. Studies of this phenomenon are inconclusive, but why take chances?
Many of today's video monitors spit out high levels of these potentially damaging ripples, enough to make you heed your mother's warnings about sitting too close to the TV. A foot back from my NEC MultiSync 3-D monitor, I get a reading between 2 and 3 milligauss - a level some scientists consider dangerous.
These waves seep out of everything with a current running through it. The electrical transformers outside my building, for example, amped out the unit at 10 milligauss plus from 20 feet away. I set Dr. Gauss down next to a coffee grinder, pushed the button to pulverize, and practically broke the needle in two.
You won't be able to carry Dr. Gauss with you everywhere - it emits a piercing scream when you hit an electromagnetic mother lode, and salespeople definitely won't take much of a liking to you if it trips in a CompUSA store. I don't advise casually pointing it at ATMs, city buses, and other people's cars: you may be mistaken for a terrorist.
But once you get Gaussed, you'll likely be hooked. In this day and age, Dr. Gauss is too valuable to be left at home.
Dr. Gauss: The EMF Detective: US$29.95. Safe Concepts Corporation: (800) 989 7233, +1 (305) 933 2320, fax +1 (305) 932 3406.
STREET CRED
Graphic MysteryTomorrow's Print News Today
EMF Warrior
Return of the Emperor's Nightingale
