"Mr. Apology" was quite the shoplifter. Being an artist, he stole mostly art supplies. Then, in 1980, he started to feel ashamed. "Shoplifting," he explains, "began to seem juvenile, almost scuzzy. I wanted a way to reconcile my darker side with my lighter half.
Figuring there might be one or two people in New York City who also harbored a hidden guilt, Mr. A (as he became known) designed an automated, non-religious, phone-in apology service. He put flyers up around the city, soliciting the public to call a machine-answered phone number and apologize for whatever was weighing down its soul. The response was overwhelming. Husbands called in to apologize for adultery, children called in to apologize for cheating at school, and, most disturbing, criminals (rapists, thieves, self-proclaimed murderers) called in to apologize for and sometimes try to justify, horrific acts of violence. (A lot of these calls are probably jokes, but the acting is superb.) Mr. A thematically re-cut the tape and kludged together some answering-machine equipment so callers could listen to other people's apologies and leave comments or apologies of their own.
Now, 14 years later, the Apology Line gets more than 100 calls a day from all over the United States and Canada. Mr. A, its "sysop," has installed a modified four-line voicemail system run off a "basically nondescript," souped-up 386 SX. The call-in menu offers choices like sex, romance, homosexuality, crime, child abuse, hatred, addiction, church of the apologetic predator (spiritual matters), humor or mild humor, and general. Mr. A funds the whole operation himself.
You can reach the Apology Line at +1 (212) 633 8323, +1 (212) 255 7714, or +1 (212) 255 2748. There is no charge beyond normal phone rates. You can help support the line by calling the same numbers and buying the Greatest Hits of Apology cassette and the Apology 'zine.
ELECTRIC WORD
The Apology Line
