By St. Jude
There's nothing wrong with Robert Carr, sysop of the Private Idaho BBS, that leaving Idaho wouldn't cure. But he can't move: he's too busy writing games like Mormonoids From The Deep and desk accessories like MacJesus, Your Personal Savior On a Floppy Disk. His latest gift is called F*CK'EM! ("All that's missing is U").
F*CK'EM! is a hardcore subversive game. Be a Man! Maneuver your penis through a maze, evading Elvis impersonators and ex-wives, stoking your manhood with manly stuff – Traci Lords videos, what's called "Marching Powder," $$$, automatic weapons – and F*CKing the sex objects. Some of these are even women, and if you've overrevved your testosterone and sperm count, this might generate a Baby, which will try to kill you. Quick, score a Coat Hanger. Big scorers get bonus penises, low scorers get humiliated – "only a little gurly man would make 10,000!" Sample what a real Man is supposed to be in America. Make the Lolita go "Ewwww!" F*CK the pig to hear that celestial oink/kiss! And before you send me the e-hatemail, let's get explicit: it's a spoof of sex stereotypes, OK?
Carr has big plans for the future. He's finishing an update of his own brand of PGP – Pretty Good Pornography. He's whipping out Shock the Monkey – where you apply electric shocks to a hapless primate's brain to get it to perform simple tasks. Unfortunately he's back-burnered Sim Despot. (As president for life of a tiny country, you try to funnel money overseas before your citizens overthrow you. You engineer red-light districts and drug routes while monitoring your Sim populace: too many calories and they have the strength to revolt, too few and they can't produce enough to keep you happy.)
Genius like this needs support: F*CK the National Endowment for the Arts, too. Order direct from Carr. Private Idaho: voice and fax +1 (208) 338 4301, BBS +1 (208) 338 9227, e-mail smurfboy@aol.com.
ELECTRIC WORD
Hacker Crackdown, Italian Style
Legal Beat: Smoking Out Online Activists
Shock the Monkey
Sony's New Game Box: Playing for Keeps
